From childhood through the teenage years, to becoming an adult, we make decisions based on what people will think about us. “If I do this or say that, they won’t like me.” This is the single biggest fear that drives people. But to keep your creative juices flowing, get curious and ask instead, “If this doesn’t work, what else can I do?” It may be inconvenient or challenging to manage a situation that doesn’t go well. There are very few times in your life that are true disasters. “It’ll be a disaster if this doesn’t work!” Not likely. Say instead: “Hey, let me give that a try and see what happens!” So what if you aren’t good at tennis, or cooking, or math? Don’t be afraid of doing them anyway, just for fun. And if you don’t try some things that you aren’t good at… yet… you’ll never discover new talents and skills. Let’s take a look at some of the more common negative phrases and thoughts: Just like I caught myself in the act of being mean to myself, you can too!Īnd once you hear yourself saying those negative things (or thinking them… all the time), you can change how you speak to yourself. The problem is this negativity bias prevents you from being creative, from taking steps forward, from taking calculated risks, and sometimes, from growing and maturing in your knowledge and beliefs. The “fight or flight” part of your brain takes over from the mature adult part of your brain. If you’re like the rest of the human race, you are more self-critical, pessimistic, and fearful in your unconscious thoughts than you are even in your spoken words. In fact, your “mental chatter” is around 70% negative. Unfortunately we all tend toward negative thoughts over positive thoughts. So why did I speak so unkindly to myself? I would have said, “No, I don’t! It was just an accident. Now if someone had been standing there watching me slice vegetables, only to see me slice my finger instead, and had said, “Jeez! You always do that sort of thing!” I would have gotten angry at them. Then right there, in the middle of the kitchen, I stopped in my tracks. “Ouch! Jeez! I always do that sort of thing!” I said out loud, to no one in particular.
With my attention diverted, just momentarily, I accidentally slipped, and took a little slice off my finger. I was chopping up some vegetables for dinner when the little “ding!” on my phone distracted me.
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